Recognising True Friendship

Our friends came over a few days ago to visit us. We hadn´t seen them for a while. We laughed, we talked about many things, we went shopping together, BBQed together and ate together. We played on the X Box also and listened to music we all like and we danced together. Mohammed did some crazy dancing and made us laugh some more.

But the important thing about tonight was the “togetherness”. We had a lot of fun.

I write all of these things, to say how nice it is to have good people in your life, they make the difference.

It is important to find the right friends and once you find them take care of those friendships that make a positive difference in your life. Try to choose good people and let go of those that do not bring anything positive but cause you to be unhappy or put you down all the time.

Celebrate the good friendships and continue to build them up.

Finding good friends can take a long time. To build a strong friendship that stays with you for the rest of your life takes time too. To have close friends that know you well and you know well is very valuable in life.

True friends are not those that just agree with everything you say and do. True friends sometimes tell you the ugly truth too. They disagree with you without hurting you and in a way that builds you up, not in a way that leaves you broken.

Real friends take time to listen to you. They invest their time and energy into the friendship and are by your side when things are good but also when things are bad. True friends don´t try to push you into making decisions you are not ready to make but help you to analyse every situation until you alone are ready to do what you need to do.

Emotional blackmail and control are not part of a true friendship. There will be times in life when you are not feeling strong, then true friends try to build up your strength and are by your side when you can´t keep going alone.

Such friends are more valuable than treasure. Maybe you have been lucky enough to find such friends and are going through a difficult time in your friendship. Be encouraged that friendships also go through hard times, important is to know the difference. Is this a friendship that builds you up and makes a positive difference to your life?

Are you making a positive difference in their lives? What can you do to make a difference in this friendship?

Recognising the positive attributes of your friends and knowing their value in your life will help you resolve any difficulties.

Be encouraged to focus on your true friends and the friendships that you value.

Beatriz and Mohammed

(All content and photos are the property of Mohammed Al Ali and Beatriz Custodio.

© 2018 Beatriz Custodio and Mohammed Al Ali)

Facing Opposition

  

Have you ever noticed that often when a person tries to do something different they face unbelievable opposition?

I come from a land that praises and encourages individuality, where people are allowed and encouraged to be unique and to live unique lives.

Of course there are role models or we observe the success of others to encourage ourselves but we try to do things in our lives that speak of our individuality and who we are.

I have noticed that often those who know me seem to forget that I come from a different culture, therefore my expectations in life are different to those of other people and my way of living my life is also different.

I found that in some countries in Europe people are expected to fit in with the rest and do things in the same way as others. If we don´t fit in then we find great opposition.

Today I want to encourage us all to be ourselves, to seek to be an individual and to live a unique life that fits and suits us!

Opposition can be really discouraging.

Suppose you have decided to choose a career path that is different to most, those that don´t understand your choice tend to speak against your career choices and make discouraging comments.

If you have chosen to do a unique job that takes you on a career path that is different to the majority of the population and you are sure that this is the right way for you then you need to learn to use opposition in a positive way.

Behind every negative remark you can build within you a positive answer.

There is no point in using your precious energy discussing or arguing with those that don´t agree with your choices in life. If they have made up their mind that your choices are wrong you will spend precious time and energy trying to change their minds, instead of using this energy to achieve your goals and be successful.

Pick your battles. Be yourself. Keep your eyes on your goal. Close your ears to those that try to discourage you without understanding what you are doing or having your best interests at heart.

Of course it is important to hear those that have your best interests at heart, but the final decision has to be yours. Not everyone has to agree with your choices in life, but people should respect your choices and your individuality.

Always doing what others want of you ends up stealing your freedom to be yourself and lead a unique life.

The road to success can be a very long one if you are not focussing your energy on your goals.

Finally, to face opposition you have to be really strong. Ask yourself if you are strong enough to withstand opposition and prepare yourself on how to deal with it. Be honest with yourself, is what they are saying to you correct? Are they speaking out of concern? If so how can you use their comments to turn a negative into a positive.

Be encouraged! there is always a positive solution to every negative situation!

Don´t stay standing at the negatives, turn them into positives. Don´t concentrate on the problems but find solutions by looking at each situation from every possible angle. If something you tried did not work then don´t keep heating your head against the wall! Try a different and new approach to the situation.

Wishing us success in the unique paths we choose for our lives and careers!

Beatriz & Mohammed

All content and photos are the property of Beatriz Custodio and Mohammed Al Ali.

Copyright © 2018 Beatriz Custodio & Mohammed Al Ali.

The pursuit of happiness in every day life

Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” is a very important phrase in the United States Declaration of Independence. The Declaration says these are rights that have been given to every single person by God. 

We have the right to pursue Happiness in every area of our lives, but I believe that our happiness can not infringe on the rights and freedoms of others. Not only that but we need to learn to respect the right of others to pursue their own happiness. As long as that pursuit is not breaking laws or damaging other indivuduals and their property.

We do not need to agree with their life choices or support them on their choices but we do need to learn to respect them and give them the freedom to live their own lives.

If we spend our time focusing on what other people do that we do not agree with, then there is no time left to focus on our own happiness.

We find happiness in every day life, for example in the changes in nature. We delight in seeing the changes in the vegetation around us and are grateful for the chance to witness God´s hand at work.

Taking time to stop our busy lifestyles to simply look around and notice the beauty that surrounds us, brings great satisfaction and makes us happy. Sharing these peaceful times with our loved ones makes it even better.

Take time to look around you this weekend, take a deep breath in the fresh air and be happy! Simple things are the best in life!




All content and photos are the property of Beatriz Custodio and Mohammed Al Ali.

Copyright © 2018 Beatriz Custodio & Mohammed Al Ali.

Look inside

When you look at someone what do you see?

We all meet a lot of people in life and in comparison with real time and eternity, we live for a very short time.

We laugh, we cry, we are happy, we are sad. We have good times and bad times.

It is so nice to see someone with a smile on their face in the morning, but it is also quite rare.

A long time ago I learnt something, to not look at the outside of people but to try to look at their heart.

Some people are sad because of the things they are living through and others are happy without caring about what is happening to the person next to them.

Some people loose themselves, their identity, they no longer know who they are and they are searching for answers. They try to identify themselves with others.

Some react in a very negative or aggressive way most of the time. These people are usually trying to protect themselves or are scared because of what they experienced in the past.

When we first came to Germany we couldn´t speak a single word of German. Mohammed went to learn German but I came to Germany under other circumstances and did not go to any classes.

I learnt German alone at home and with the help of some friends. I used to be tired all the time, after a while I realised that it was because I was concentrating so hard to try to understand what people were saying. I concentrated a lot on the expressions of their faces, the movements of their hands and their whole body language in general.

Although I have never been able to see colour or nationality, age or social status, during that time when I first arrived in Germany I learnt to really see the person. After a short time I could easily tell what was happening to the person in front of me even though I couldn´t understand everything they were saying.

When we can speak the language of the person in front of us, we tend to concentrate on the words being said and we loose the ability to see the person behind the words or the real meaning and impact behind what is being said.

Now that I can speak German I tend to focus more on the words than on the expressions.

I have resolved to go back to looking more intensely at the person and listening really carefully. To really listen to what someone is saying, is to respect them, to give them value and to value your time with them. It is also a means to personal growth.

For both of us what matters is not what is on the outside but what is on the inside. What matters is the good things inside the person and the positive contribution they can have on our lives and that we can have on theirs. Focus on the postive and let go of the negative!

If we just throw words at each other without thinking whether these words are going to hurt the other person or not, then we can cause great damage to ourselves and to others. We are all human, not animals, no matter what we look like on the outside, where we come from or how old we are, we all feel in the same way. If you can get hurt so can I, so can anybody else.

Resolve this weekend to look inside the person in front of you and not at the outside. Really focus on what they are saying and listen carefully not just to the words but also hear the meaning of what they are saying.

Wishing us all a happy people weekend!

Beatriz and Mohammed

(All content and photos are the property of Beatriz Custodio and Mohammed Al Ali.

Copyright © 2018 Beatriz Custodio & Mohammed Al Ali.)

Living in Peace

One of the nicest things in life is to live in peace. When you have your family around you and you are there for each other then you know you are not alone.

Many people search for peace in all different areas of life. Peace at work, peace at home, peace in their family relationships, peace in their marriage, peace in the world and peace with themselves.

For me the search for peace took me on a 3 months walk, all the way from the war until I reached Germany. Although there is peace in Germany, the war goes on in my country and therefore my search for peace did not end with my arrival in a country without war.

I search for peace within my thoughts and in my heart. In some areas of my life I am fully at peace, for example in my relationship. But I have no peace when it comes to the safety of my family. I wait daily to hear news from them and ask myself when will I meet them again in person.

I watch and read the news regularly to check the updates on the war and try to find some peace about my family.

I miss my family but I am grateful that I have them. I give thanks to God for my family and their love and for the life and freedom I now have in Germany.

Where has your search for peace led you?

(All content and photos are the property of Beatriz Custodio and Mohammed Al Ali.

Copyright © 2018 Beatriz Custodio & Mohammed Al Ali.)

 

Staying Strong

 

There are times in life when everything seems to be going wrong.

Maybe you had today one of those days, weeks or are even having one of those months.

We could sit here talking about how wrong it is all working out or how difficult it all is but that isn’t going to help anyone.

The secret is not to focus on what is going wrong but to focus on finding a solution. Make a list, mental or written, of what is going wrong and the possible reasons why. This might end up being a long list so I choose to write it down.

After writing this list consider if the reason why things are going wrong is your responsibility or not. Sometimes we blame ourselves for what is not our responsibility, however sometimes we start to blame others and everything else for what is really of our own doing.

Deep searching ourselves might not be a favourite activity or a fun activity but one thing is for sure, if we want life to go back to being good again then we need to take a deep look at what is going wrong and the reasons for it.

Once this is done, don´t stay stuck there! Make a new list with possible solutions!!!

Don´t focus on the problems, focus on the solutions. What is the solution to the different situations and whether you are able to put a solution in place, are the most important questions to ask yourself at this point.

If you have the answer to the problem and if you know what you need to do, so you don´t have this problem any more, then do it! As long as your solution to the problem does not cause damage or hurt to any other person.

Always take into consideration the impact that your actions are going to have on those around you. You might think that by doing what seems to you right your problem is solved, but you might end up causing a bigger problem in the long run or causing hurt to somebody near you.

Careful consideration is of the greatest importance at times like this. Rushed actions tend to lead to bigger problems.

In a world where everything happens really fast and confusion reigns, with so many people and so many situations in our lives,  we hardly have any time to think, but when everything seems to be going wrong it is the right time to stop and consider every angle of the situation that you are in and find a solution to it.

If it is at work then you might need to communicate with colleagues.

If it is at home then you really need to find a solution and put it into place. Running away is never the solution (just in case that just crossed your mind), the solution is to confront the problem and deal with it in a positive way. Talking with those involved is of major importance! Blocking people out of your life does not solve the problem!

Stay focused on your goals and the better life you are trying to build.

Stay strong, don´t give up!

(All content and photos are the property of Beatriz Custodio and Mohammed Al Ali.

Copyright © 2018 Beatriz Custodio & Mohammed Al Ali)

Focusing on creating my own world

Time goes by and the day slips away but we are on the same things.  I tell myself what I want to do the next day and write it down. I ask myself so many questions and I create my own world with my dreams and hopes.

I think we all do that.

But when something goes wrong we get sad and discouraged. Sometimes people hurt you but you don´t talk about it. You hold the pain inside you and struggle to continue forwards to build a better life.

Letting go of the pain helps us to move forward into the future and a better life.

Don´t give up, you know yourself that you are strong.

Don´t let a set back discourage you and stop you in your way to achieving a better life. Focus on your future and on your plans. Focus on making your dreams come true.

You know that you can do a lot of things in your life. You are better than the set backs, you are clever. Don´t let other people push you down. Tell yourself that you are strong and are going to become stronger.

You will reach your goals and make your dreams into reality. Don´t loose sight of your goals, dreams and the life that you want to build.

Your life will be a better life than it is today.

(All photos and content are the property of Beatriz Custodio & Mohammed Al Ali.

Copyright © 2018 Mohammed Al Ali & Beatriz Custodio)

Switch into Positive

Our brains follow our instructions. Our moods shape our thoughts. Negative thinking produces negative actions.

Focusing on instructing your brain to switch into positive thinking will produce positive outcomes in your life.

For example, if you put the alarm on to get up in the morning to go to work, but before you go to bed you tell yourself that you are tired, that you are in fact exhausted and that you will not manage the next day, then the next morning you will start the day tired and continue in that mode all day long. And probably also in a bad mood!
Negative thinking lowers your energy levels and prepares you for failure.

However, if before you go to bed you tell yourself that you are tired now but after a good night sleep you will successfully complete the next day, then you will have a positive and successful day ahead of you.

Plan for success. Make your mornings easy. Prepare all you can prepare the night before, then go to bed with a clear feeling that the next morning you will have an easy time before facing your day.

Every time you are tempted to think negative then consciously change your thoughts. Be hard on yourself.
If you forget easily what you need to get done the next day, and that is leading you to stress and exhaustion, then invest on a small notebook that you carry around with you. Write lists on it detailing what you need to get done that day and for the next day.
Of course we are in a modern world, you can also make your list on your mobile phone!
But for me personally nothing beats the feeling that I get when I use my little notebook!

Seek positive thoughts and you will be on the road to success!

 

(All photos and content are the property of Beatriz Custodio & Mohammed Al Ali.

© 2018 Mohammed Al Ali & Beatriz Custodio)

 

Taking time out

Focusing, learning, planning, doing and progressing is all part of the processes to achieving goals, but when we only focus on the “serious” staff and don´t take time out to relax and enjoy life we are very much in danger of “burning out”.

This last weekend we took time out to relax and enjoy a perfect late summer´s day.

We went to the circus, ate ice-cream and took time for a relaxed walk. We had a great time, came home feeling totally refreshed and full of energy to move forward!

Because a photo is worth more than a thousand words:

  

Plan into your busy schedule time to relax and to see something different. Once you go back to focusing on your work or life plan, you will be able to concentrate much better and feel rested.

Wishing you happy planning and much fun!!!

All photos and content are the property of Beatriz Custodio & Mohammed Al Ali.

© 2018 Mohammed Al Ali & Beatriz Custodio)

Walking Forwards

 

I walked across many countries in Europe for 3 months to get away from the war and save my life. If there is one thing that I learned about walking forwards in life is that it can be a difficult and painful process which leads to a positive end.

It requires leaving behind not just the negative things in one´s life but sometimes it means having to leave behind things that we like, enjoy, are comfortable with or think we can´t live without.

For me it was a particularly difficult and painful process because it meant leaving behind my loved ones in order to save my life.

But when you want to move forwards in life, in your business, career, home life or love life then you might need to make some difficult choices.

It takes just 9 days to create a bad habit but it takes 21 days to break a bad habit and create a good one.

Just making the decision to walk forwards in life is a huge positive first step. Breaking the bad habits in your life that are stopping you from being successful is already a success. Building new positive habits means we are almost there!

Then we know that we are walking in the right way and on the road to achieving our goals.

Keep a written record of everything you have achieved, not  about what  you dream off but what you have actually done. All of us have dreams but if I hold this dream in my head and never do something about it then I will never do anything in my life. Make a positive habit of recording the steps you take on the road to success.

 

Keep walking forwards, one foot in front of the other!

 

 

(All photos and content are the property of Beatriz Custodio & Mohammed Al Ali.

© 2018 Mohammed Al Ali & Beatriz Custodio)