Look inside

When you look at someone what do you see?

We all meet a lot of people in life and in comparison with real time and eternity, we live for a very short time.

We laugh, we cry, we are happy, we are sad. We have good times and bad times.

It is so nice to see someone with a smile on their face in the morning, but it is also quite rare.

A long time ago I learnt something, to not look at the outside of people but to try to look at their heart.

Some people are sad because of the things they are living through and others are happy without caring about what is happening to the person next to them.

Some people loose themselves, their identity, they no longer know who they are and they are searching for answers. They try to identify themselves with others.

Some react in a very negative or aggressive way most of the time. These people are usually trying to protect themselves or are scared because of what they experienced in the past.

When we first came to Germany we couldn´t speak a single word of German. Mohammed went to learn German but I came to Germany under other circumstances and did not go to any classes.

I learnt German alone at home and with the help of some friends. I used to be tired all the time, after a while I realised that it was because I was concentrating so hard to try to understand what people were saying. I concentrated a lot on the expressions of their faces, the movements of their hands and their whole body language in general.

Although I have never been able to see colour or nationality, age or social status, during that time when I first arrived in Germany I learnt to really see the person. After a short time I could easily tell what was happening to the person in front of me even though I couldn´t understand everything they were saying.

When we can speak the language of the person in front of us, we tend to concentrate on the words being said and we loose the ability to see the person behind the words or the real meaning and impact behind what is being said.

Now that I can speak German I tend to focus more on the words than on the expressions.

I have resolved to go back to looking more intensely at the person and listening really carefully. To really listen to what someone is saying, is to respect them, to give them value and to value your time with them. It is also a means to personal growth.

For both of us what matters is not what is on the outside but what is on the inside. What matters is the good things inside the person and the positive contribution they can have on our lives and that we can have on theirs. Focus on the postive and let go of the negative!

If we just throw words at each other without thinking whether these words are going to hurt the other person or not, then we can cause great damage to ourselves and to others. We are all human, not animals, no matter what we look like on the outside, where we come from or how old we are, we all feel in the same way. If you can get hurt so can I, so can anybody else.

Resolve this weekend to look inside the person in front of you and not at the outside. Really focus on what they are saying and listen carefully not just to the words but also hear the meaning of what they are saying.

Wishing us all a happy people weekend!

Beatriz and Mohammed

(All content and photos are the property of Beatriz Custodio and Mohammed Al Ali.

Copyright © 2018 Beatriz Custodio & Mohammed Al Ali.)

Living in Peace

One of the nicest things in life is to live in peace. When you have your family around you and you are there for each other then you know you are not alone.

Many people search for peace in all different areas of life. Peace at work, peace at home, peace in their family relationships, peace in their marriage, peace in the world and peace with themselves.

For me the search for peace took me on a 3 months walk, all the way from the war until I reached Germany. Although there is peace in Germany, the war goes on in my country and therefore my search for peace did not end with my arrival in a country without war.

I search for peace within my thoughts and in my heart. In some areas of my life I am fully at peace, for example in my relationship. But I have no peace when it comes to the safety of my family. I wait daily to hear news from them and ask myself when will I meet them again in person.

I watch and read the news regularly to check the updates on the war and try to find some peace about my family.

I miss my family but I am grateful that I have them. I give thanks to God for my family and their love and for the life and freedom I now have in Germany.

Where has your search for peace led you?

(All content and photos are the property of Beatriz Custodio and Mohammed Al Ali.

Copyright © 2018 Beatriz Custodio & Mohammed Al Ali.)

 

Staying Strong

 

There are times in life when everything seems to be going wrong.

Maybe you had today one of those days, weeks or are even having one of those months.

We could sit here talking about how wrong it is all working out or how difficult it all is but that isn’t going to help anyone.

The secret is not to focus on what is going wrong but to focus on finding a solution. Make a list, mental or written, of what is going wrong and the possible reasons why. This might end up being a long list so I choose to write it down.

After writing this list consider if the reason why things are going wrong is your responsibility or not. Sometimes we blame ourselves for what is not our responsibility, however sometimes we start to blame others and everything else for what is really of our own doing.

Deep searching ourselves might not be a favourite activity or a fun activity but one thing is for sure, if we want life to go back to being good again then we need to take a deep look at what is going wrong and the reasons for it.

Once this is done, don´t stay stuck there! Make a new list with possible solutions!!!

Don´t focus on the problems, focus on the solutions. What is the solution to the different situations and whether you are able to put a solution in place, are the most important questions to ask yourself at this point.

If you have the answer to the problem and if you know what you need to do, so you don´t have this problem any more, then do it! As long as your solution to the problem does not cause damage or hurt to any other person.

Always take into consideration the impact that your actions are going to have on those around you. You might think that by doing what seems to you right your problem is solved, but you might end up causing a bigger problem in the long run or causing hurt to somebody near you.

Careful consideration is of the greatest importance at times like this. Rushed actions tend to lead to bigger problems.

In a world where everything happens really fast and confusion reigns, with so many people and so many situations in our lives,  we hardly have any time to think, but when everything seems to be going wrong it is the right time to stop and consider every angle of the situation that you are in and find a solution to it.

If it is at work then you might need to communicate with colleagues.

If it is at home then you really need to find a solution and put it into place. Running away is never the solution (just in case that just crossed your mind), the solution is to confront the problem and deal with it in a positive way. Talking with those involved is of major importance! Blocking people out of your life does not solve the problem!

Stay focused on your goals and the better life you are trying to build.

Stay strong, don´t give up!

(All content and photos are the property of Beatriz Custodio and Mohammed Al Ali.

Copyright © 2018 Beatriz Custodio & Mohammed Al Ali)